I don't love you, nor do I want you.
I don't need you, but I feel you
reaching for my soul,
scratching at my heart
with those claws that you call fingers
while I'm digging old holes,
while I’m wishing for the winter—
for the soil to harden,
for my blood to run thicker.
Searching for a peace that’s yet to show…
We'll bargain for the bits
that you've left for me to pick at—
a piece of your heart
for all of my soul—
but I'll be in the ground
before the ink dries on the paper,
in a peace that thicker blood will never know.
I don't have you, but I've held you.
I don't hold you, but I've felt you
reaching out for more.
You’re telling me the secrets
that you've tossed to all those boys.
Oh, I promised and swore
to take pride from my pleasures,
but sadness is much simpler
because it's surrender.
Searching for release from what we’ll known…
We'll bargain for the bits
That you've left for me to pick at—
a piece of your heart
for all of my soul—
but I'll be in the ground
before the ink dries on the paper,
in a peace that thicker blood will never know.
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